i have been having a bout of depression for a few days now
"lonliness so dark and hard it cracks the spine to even think of it
the blues hit so hard they crack your ribs, snap your spine, splatter your brains on the ceiling, drive you to drink, love, trust and crawl." -henry rollins
these bouts are coming more and more often.
it is not like i wake up every day remembering how alone i am, but sometimes i do.
but not to worry... i am not going to drink my way through this... not like i used to do... thank you to babs and jackiesue for the 'one day at a time' thing. i had always thought it was corny, which it is... but it seems to work. you are right, do not say 'i am not drinking anymore,' because you will go crazy. just say 'i am not drinking tonight.'
i will be back in a day or two... friday night i will have a review of x-men 3... y'all should stop by kaseys blog (it is on my links) and welcome her back.
"i would like to say that she broke my heart, but i can't. i know too much. the only one i can blame for my lonliness is myself. even if i could make myself believe that she did it to me, i wouldn't feel any better... she did not break my heart... i did.
i don't know why i would do something this painful to myself... i wish i would stop.
many days i wake up dead, put my face on and hit the door.
everyone will leave you sometime..."henry rollins
"people worry about kids playing violent video games or watching violent movies, but no one worries about kids listening to thousands, literaly thousands of songs about heartbreak, lonliness and despare...
did i listen to pop music because i was miserable, or was i miserable because i listen to pop music?"- john cusac in the movie 'high fidelity' one of my favorites.
along with the line, 'if you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier!'
the blues hit so hard they crack your ribs, snap your spine, splatter your brains on the ceiling, drive you to drink, love, trust and crawl." -henry rollins
these bouts are coming more and more often.
it is not like i wake up every day remembering how alone i am, but sometimes i do.
but not to worry... i am not going to drink my way through this... not like i used to do... thank you to babs and jackiesue for the 'one day at a time' thing. i had always thought it was corny, which it is... but it seems to work. you are right, do not say 'i am not drinking anymore,' because you will go crazy. just say 'i am not drinking tonight.'
i will be back in a day or two... friday night i will have a review of x-men 3... y'all should stop by kaseys blog (it is on my links) and welcome her back.
"i would like to say that she broke my heart, but i can't. i know too much. the only one i can blame for my lonliness is myself. even if i could make myself believe that she did it to me, i wouldn't feel any better... she did not break my heart... i did.
i don't know why i would do something this painful to myself... i wish i would stop.
many days i wake up dead, put my face on and hit the door.
everyone will leave you sometime..."henry rollins
"people worry about kids playing violent video games or watching violent movies, but no one worries about kids listening to thousands, literaly thousands of songs about heartbreak, lonliness and despare...
did i listen to pop music because i was miserable, or was i miserable because i listen to pop music?"- john cusac in the movie 'high fidelity' one of my favorites.
along with the line, 'if you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier!'
posted by zero at 2:48 PM
7 Comments:
I love you Justin. I have free long distance I can call you one day. :)
For some reason, I think about this quote from "The Interpreter"
Silvia Broome: What do you do when you can't sleep?
Tobin Keller: I stay awake
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Thought about*. Jesus, I suck at life.
i understand what you are going through right now..i am a little down myownself...another one of my good friends died...that is 5 in last 6months...when you get to be my age that seems to happen more...makes me think of the waylon jennings line from one of his songs.."if i knew i was going to live this long, i would have taken better care of myself"....but then there is also ole willie nelsons line :there are more old drunks than there are old drs....so guess ill go have another drink....but since i dont drink any more..will go with waylon's...email address:yellowdoggranny@yahoo.com..send me your phone number and i will call..have free minutes just stacking up..jac
Ah, depression bites. Been there, still go there.
As Jackisesue says, chin up, tits out. :)
you ok????
I'm up early again this morning enjoying the silence before all the neighbors start acting like ants on their way to work.
Ahh... the peace and quiet is so nice!!
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