for the sake of this entry, the act of crying will be called 'it'

i wish it would come.
it comes when it wants to-
it comes when i see a sad part of a movie.
it comes when i see a happy part of a movie.
it comes when i see a man and a woman, obviously in love, walking down the street...
it comes when i see anyone happier than i am... why them and not me?
what have i done that is so bad i do not deserve to be happy?
it comes when i do not want it to... when i am around people, it is there. when i am alone, locked in my room, it is nowhere to be found.
"when you want it, it goes away too fast. times you hate it, it always seem to last..." marilyn manson wrote that.

"my heart was made to be broken and torn"
i wrote that. it is a part of the latest poem to be published in a book by 'the international library of poetry'
the poem is called "my curse" and the book is called "immortal verses"(it can be found under the name "justin taylor" at www.poetry.com

all of those people read my poetry, but they do not understand it.
much like all of the people who hear me sing at karaoke, but do not understand the message...

every time i sing at karaoke, i pour my heart out to people who do not even know they are bearing witness to my misery...
i need a drink. i think i'll go get drunk now-

see y'all later.

it is just a down day. it happens. depression is a bitch.