fuck.

i knew i was going to fuck it up, but i sang, on the phone, to someone i know... i am sorry, i know i fucked it up... i will send you a tape of some good singing... i knew i should not do it over the phone... i knew it... but i was drunk, so i did it anyway...

alcohol is dangerous.

sorry 'bout that.

.....

"b.d.s.m."

stands for "bondage, dicipline, sadism, masochism"

just so y'all know...

work work work,

it seems that is all i ever do... i guess at least i am off for the next two days, now...YAY!!

now all of a sudden i am popular in the real world or something...
my ex wants to hang out with me, she came and met me at work today-
my brother wants me to come over to his place and have dinner tomorrow night-
and my cousin wants to come over sunday and get drunk with me like she has not done in FRIGGIN MONTHS because she has a boyfriend she spends all of her time with...

damn, people. chill the fuck out, will you?

and the countdown has begun...

i had a nice long conversation today with my ex... remembering old times and shit like that... we are supposed to "hang out someday" to go to dinner and catch up...

she is dating now, and i first thought that would create a problem, but it turns out now, maybe not so much...
it turns out that she misses the depraved things we used to do-
and is too embarased to ask anyone else to do them...
or something like that... i suppose we shall find out eventually... well, i will anyway...

i believe kasey called this a 'thingy'

1.How tall are you barefoot?5'7" or 5'8"
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?nope
3. Do you own a gun?No
4. Rehab?i am no quitter.
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?wouldn't know, i never have met the parents.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?in what context?7.What's your favorite Christmas song?blink 182-i won't be home for christmas.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?what is morning?
9. Do you do push-ups?why?
10. Are you a vegeterian?i don't think humans fought for millions of years to get to the top of the food chain just to eat salad and tofu.
11. WHat's your favorite TV show?family guy, futurama, brainiac, mythbusters, csi, law and order ci
12. Do you like painkillers? you bet.
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?is that what i need? a secret weapon?
14. Do you own a knife?Yes.
15. have A.D.D.?what was the question?
16. Whats your birthday?august 8th
17.Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:1.this is a long quiz. 2. this is a fun quiz. 3. damn, it is almost midnight.
18.Name three things you bought recently1. alcohol, cigarettes, mcdonalds.
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink alcohol, coca-cola, cherry coke, cherry pepsi, water.
20. What time did you wake up today?6 ish
21. Current hair?messy
22. Current worry?why, what did you hear?
23. Current hate?solace
24. Favorite place to be?bed
25. Least favorite place to be?at work, working. hanging out there is ok, though.
26. Where would you like to go?anywhere but here.
27. Do you own slippers?fuzzy black ones i never wear.
28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?living alone in the middle of nowhere... maybe on a lake...
29. Do you burn or tan?burn
30. Last thing you ate?french fries.
31. Would you be a pirate?aren't pirates kind of outdated?
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?last night/this morning
33. What 3 songs do you sing in the shower?i don't sing in the shower- i talk to myself.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?i don't know, but it was under my bed, and couldn't get me if i jumped into bed from 3 feet away.
35. What's in your pockets right now?$6.05, chapstick, wallet
36. Last thing that made you laugh?ron white-you can't fix stupid
37. Best bedsheets as a child?spiderman
38. Worst injury you've ever had?when i was a couple of years old, i fell through a glass door. i still have a scar from it.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?5
41. Who is your loudest friend?i don't have any friends.
42. Who is your most silent friend?hey buddy, arent you listening? i don't have any friends!!
43. Does someone have a crush on you?hell no.
45. What is your favorite book?f2f
46. What is your favorite candy?recees peanut butter eggs.
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?white wedding by the murderdolls.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? the end by the doors.
49. where were you at midnight last night?work.

sex is like air- it is only important when you're not getting any...

well, well, well...

guess who never called me today-
-i am jacks complete lack of surprise-

i am glad she does this everytime i start to miss her...
god knows what kind of mistake i would make if she didn't stand me up every time we start to talk again after a long absence...

so i wake up yesterday after a long night of drinking,

and i see that there is a missed call on my cell phone- but it is a restricted #, which means i would not have answered it anyway-
there is also a voice mail- it is my ex...
she wanted to say hi since i just gave her my cell # a couple of days ago...
she says she will probably call back today, but i am not sure if i will answer, because it is only SOMETIMES that i want to talk to her, and i am not sure if right now is one of those times...
i'm pretty certain i will though.

i suppose we shall see.

if she even does call, which i doubt she will. she has this habit of saying she will call, or write or something, and then not doing it- that is one of the reasons we split up in the first place. because i was tired of waiting for her all the time. i do not wait for people very well.

it just pisses me off most of the time.
have you ever been stood up?
not fun, was it?
ok then, we are all on the same page.

however, perhaps i should talk to her when she calls... since i have that problem only a female can help me with, perhaps she can help me with it...
(the problem being i have not gotten laid in over a year)

well, i am glad i thought of that!!

my night

i went out to my 'company dinner' and it was actually fun...

i had 4 kamakazies and 6 beers, and when i could still walk a straight line, my manager called me a drunk... oops.

there were 6 of us, and we spent $141 dollars, not including the tip...

but i only had 6 beers and 4 kamakazies!!
so i drank that much and could still walk a straight line... is that bad?

anyway, so it was a lot of fun, and i am glad i went...
sometimes i guess it is better to go out with a group than all by yourself. but very rarely...

well, i am going to pull out my liquor bottle and start drinking the good stuff... yukon jack... 100 proof and flavored with honey. it is canadian.

i should have explained to my manager that what i usually drink is 20 times stronger than beer, and 2 times stronger than a kamakazie... but i doubt that would have made a difference... it was all in fun anyway.

big ol' friggin deal...

i have a company dinner tonight, but i am not sure if i am going or not. i probably will, but only because there will be free drinks... it is at some place called 'wheat and rye' which i have never heard of, but like i said- free drinks.

emotion sickness: adj:

the feeling of physical illness based on, and caused by, a long period of emotional stress and/or strain.

so babs and yellodog granny are holding auditions for poolboys...

well ok, if you think THAT will help me get laid, i am there. of course, i look horrible in a speedo, and i have not been called 'big boy' since...well, ever... but i'm good in bed, or so i've been told, and i am open to just about anything as long as it does not involve anything ENTERING my body...
and i am obedient... well, i can be...
so how do i rank?

just kidding...

you know what i need?

just to get laid. seriously. when my ex and i broke up, neither of us really knew it was coming, so we did not have the chance to do it one last time before the end. no sad but hot break up sex...

i have been told a thousand times how 'i am a good guy and i deserve to be with someone' not to mention, 'any girl would be lucky to be with me'
and it is flattering to hear it... thank you to everyone who has ever told me that, but i wish the women HERE knew that.

here, i am just looked at as that strange little odd insecure guy... when i go to the bar, i do not sit there hitting on anything with a vagina, i focus on the business at hand... which is singing- that is why i go to the bar- karaoke... (some of you already knew that...)

not to mention, i am completely incapable of knowing if someone likes me or not- what the fuck...
it has happened more than once...
no big deal, i guess...
and no, i am not thinking about anyone in perticular...
just females in general...

an old friend has arrived...

someone from blogster has followed me over here- 'lovelyletdown' is here now- some of you may remember her. she can be found at getprettie.blogspot.com or in my links, she is kasey... welcome.

dude, what the hell

there is nothing on television... never is... the only thing on is a bunch of movies i have already seen, and recently, too...

i think i will put this time to good use, and work some more on my screenplay, since kasey wants to know how she dies... i guess i also have to work out some tasteful nude scenes...
what the fuck am i saying!!!!
she didn't say it had to be tasteful, just that i had to pay her to die naked on camera...

that was a joke.

i really am going to work on the screenplay, though...

i'll be back later.

ow! ok, i'm sorry! stop pinching me!!

kasey and jackiesue do not have to pay to see it either. babs wants to be a psycho- i think we can do that... anyone else want a part in the most horrific horror movie ever made?

guaranteed to give your unborn children nightmares...

-technicaly i have millions of kids- who is to say when life starts...

and we have a tagline-"it makes saw look like little bunny foo foo"

i wonder if i could pay a movie critic to say that... maybe i will not have to...

if i ever get robbed,

which is like a part of working in retail... he had better hope he does not fuck up and give me the chance to get the drop on him... if he does, i promise i will fuck him up. bad. i carry a knife just in case the opertunity arises, and if it does, the entire 'happy to be home' series comes to life. he dies that night. as a matter of fact, i have been looking for the one guy who robbed me already... and if i find him, he will be sorry.

i have something to say...

when my movie is done- i have begun to write it- there are 4 people who will not have to pay to see it.
1. me, because i made it.
2. sooner
3. babs
4. yellowdog granny

all of the people who are standing by me while i write. all of the people who think i can do it. sooner and i are moving to an island and we are going to have a house called 'the penis house' i don't know why he decided to name it that, perhaps it has something to do with "welcome to 'the penis house' please cum inside"

sooner- maybe once we get there, we can reunite you with your buddy 'the jug'... btw, something you said to me at 'the shithole' has always stuck with me... 'you and i are the same. we can hold a kitten in our hands, and pet it gently, but if we ever see anyone harm that kitten, we will gladly skin that person alive with a cheese grater'

thank you for that.

babs- i did write the screenplay for saw... well not really, but it sounds cool. sooner was there too. well, not really, but i couldn't leave out my partner in chaos...

yellowdog granny- people are right when they say you are the coolest older person they know. unfortunately, i cannot afford to make you an extra in this movie, because i can not afford to come out there to where you are, but maybe for the sequel...

we 4 together are going to make saw look like little bunny foo foo.

a gift and a curse...

i just realized something today... something about my memory... some of you already know about it, but for those of you who don't i will explain before i go into my discovery...

i have a nearly photographic memory.

i remember conversations word for word that i had years ago... i remember most of the numbers that i hear like they have been encripted into my dna...

i have had a new development... every month at work, price changes need to be done on the 'previously viewed' dvd's... what i end up with, is a list of 15 to 30 titles who's prices need to be changed...between 10 and 60 of each title, in no perticular order, chosen out of thousands of titles... (if you want to know what it is like, give it a shot some time...) tonight, i figured out, that all i have to do is read the list, go into the computer to see how many of each title we have, and then just preview each stack of dvd's. for some reason, i can remember each title enough to recognize it when i run across it in the box... all of the names are in my head... now isn't that odd?

i thought so- but go me. i am the new incarnation of human life... a savant without being retarded...

like a cross between tom cruse and dustin hoffman from 'rainman'

by the way...

i have been giving a lot of thought to the screenplay sooner has said i said i shoud write... and babs has agreed i should write... i still think it is a good idea, and i have an idea-

when i was 12 years old, i heard that brandon lee was killed durring the making of 'the crow' and i became obsessed... i saw an issue of 'people' magizine in april of 1993 which had brandon on the cover because of his death... i was poor, as i still am, so i could not afford it, but in july of that same year i saw it on the free magazine rack at the thrift store my mom worked at, and the obsession got even worse. i took that magazine home, and studied it. i read and memorized the interview, and wished to god i could see the movie. in august of 1993, i found $20 in the bushes outside of a bar, and my brother, myself, and my moms boyfriend all want to see "the crow." i took my moms boyfriend because i was only 12, and it is rated 'R'...

my obsession only got worse after that. i rented that movie a hundred times once it came out on video, i learned almost every line, and learned all that i could...i walked for 2 1/2 hours to a comic book store, in the blazing august sun, and since i was collecting comic cards at the time, and i traded a limited edition "professor x" plastic card (a comic card printed on clear plastic) for a 6 foot life sized poster of brandon lee, as the crow, walking in the rain- (the picture shown on the front of the vhs, and now the dvd)

durring my repeated watching of the film, i noticed something-just before the flashback scene, as he walks back into his apartment after his return, the part where he tears the "crime scene" tape is filmed in first person... looking through his eyes... i remember thinking it would be really sweet to see an entire movie filmed through someones eyes... once i am done with my screenplay, and i start to film my movie (i think you are right sooner, it will be a cult classic, as long as i can do it right) all of the murder scenes will be filmed in first person- see what he see's... hear what he hears... it is going to make as many people sick as it fascinates... i can't wait.

for the sake of this entry, the act of crying will be called 'it'

i wish it would come.
it comes when it wants to-
it comes when i see a sad part of a movie.
it comes when i see a happy part of a movie.
it comes when i see a man and a woman, obviously in love, walking down the street...
it comes when i see anyone happier than i am... why them and not me?
what have i done that is so bad i do not deserve to be happy?
it comes when i do not want it to... when i am around people, it is there. when i am alone, locked in my room, it is nowhere to be found.
"when you want it, it goes away too fast. times you hate it, it always seem to last..." marilyn manson wrote that.

"my heart was made to be broken and torn"
i wrote that. it is a part of the latest poem to be published in a book by 'the international library of poetry'
the poem is called "my curse" and the book is called "immortal verses"(it can be found under the name "justin taylor" at www.poetry.com

all of those people read my poetry, but they do not understand it.
much like all of the people who hear me sing at karaoke, but do not understand the message...

every time i sing at karaoke, i pour my heart out to people who do not even know they are bearing witness to my misery...
i need a drink. i think i'll go get drunk now-

see y'all later.

it is just a down day. it happens. depression is a bitch.

damn good idea sooner...

in a comment to my last post, sooner told me i should write my own screenplay and film it for cheap on a video camera... i think he may be right... after all, it is not like i am doing anything else... and at present, i am in the exact same situation as this other little known writer/director who writes cult classics... a guy who also was a movie fan and worked at a video store- a guy by the name of quinten tarintino...
so yes, i think i will.

and when the heavens crash to earth and the dead are resurected, remember, it was sooners idea...

heh heh heh

5:15 pm and feeling fine.

i have to go shopping today- got to go pick up some things...

and i am going to go on up to work and pick up some more movies to watch- i'm going to buy some too: waiting, saw II, four brothers and... something else, i'm not sure what yet... but they are buy 2 get 2 free, so i have to get 4 of them... maybe blade trinity- maybe not... i will decide when i get there.

hiss...

like clockwork, the sun comes up every day... ain't that some shit?

i have become agoraphobic- which is a 'fear of the outside world'

i only go outside when i have 2...

no one at work quite understands this... they keep asking me 2 leave my house when it is not 2 go to work...

i had a discussion 2day about if i could sing or not... it was a joke discussion about if we should start a band or not... i said i would b the lead singer, and everyone had a conniption- so i said, "who here has ever 'actually' sang in front of people?"
i was the only one 2 raise my hand... then they started ?ing my talent... i have 2 explain it 2 them i guess... i have 2 sing for them i guess...

shit. the sun is up... i guess i should stop drinking now...

damn...

i guess u all have no ?'s about movies... i have had no ?'s on my movie blog, or even suggestions...well ain't that a bitch?

speaking of the doors

i just put on my leather pants again... the last time i wore them, i ripped out the crotch, so this time, i put a safety pin in them... i hope i do not pop the safety pin... i will stab myself in the testicles... now wouldn't that be a bitch?

i'm back.

"bite down on this," i said as i put the handle of a spoon between his teeth...
he is crying, as i have come to expect from his kind.
"don't worry," i say to him... "as long as you tell me what i want to know, you will be fine."

i found him on a street corner- trying to sell drugs to elementary school kids.

"who do you work for?"

"no one," he mumbles between his teeth with a police issue 9mm beretta against his head.

"bullshit!" i scream as i kick him in the bottom jaw and shatter his teeth on the spoon. now he is in real pain, anyone who has ever had a toothache can testify to that...
to have 6 of your teeth shattered must hurt quite a bit...

"tell me who you work for or i am going to kill you right here and now, you fucker! have you ever heard of the 'sadist killer'?"

"that sick fucker who killed all of those people 6 months ago? yeah, he is in prison."

"no, he was in prison, actualy, it was more of a hospital... but he broke out... and found you. you have been poisoning the youth of america for too fucking long- tell me who you work for or you die here and now."

"walter mercer."

"oh, i know him..."

"you're going to let me live now, right?"

"nope."

i take a razorblade, and make 187 cuts on his body, then i dump a bottle of rubbing alcohol on him. he deserves this...
he deserves worse...
i light a cigarette and stuff it down his underwear... almost immediately i can smell the burning hair and flesh...

once it burns out, i start dumping gasoline on him... it is time to end this- one match and he goes up into flames-

i have to find walter mercer...

i know him from my past life... he robbed me once at a convienence store i worked at just to keep the hours rolling by...

now it is his time to pay.

and the winner is...

yellowdoggranny!!!
with one correct answer.
here be the answers-
1. freddy

2. skeet ulrich

3. ash cut off his hand

4. dr. gordon

5. 'this ain't no funeral home- welcome to hell motherfuckers...'

6. 'whats the matter, don't you like clowns? why not, don't we make you laugh? aren't we fucking funny? you had best come up with an answer, boy, because i am going to check up on you and your momma, and if you ain't got as reason why you hate clowns, I'M GONNA KILL YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY.

7. he was empailed through the head by the ladder of his fire escape.

8. 7 days.

9. blade has an erection.

10. pinhead.

11. crystal lake.

12. otis driftwood.

13. michael myers mask in halloween 1 was a william shatner mask with teased out hair which had been painted white, and the eye holes had been cut out bigger.

14. the black cross that was used in his interupted exorcism.

15. buffalo bill.

just in case-

if any of you need or want to know anything about most movies, i have just set up another blog-
it is going to be used only for movies and movie stuff- reviews on movies i have seen, suggestions of what you should watch, and requests of what i should review next... what can i say, movies are my passion... however, i do reserve the right to refuse to review a movie because i am dead set against watching it...

now that my disclaimer is done, blog away.

P.S.
could someone please walk me through how to post links in my sidebar? in english? i am kind of computer illiterate...

thanks a pantload, chet...

ok, all last night, i couldn't sleep... by the time i knew it, it was nine am, and i had to work today at 2... or so i thought... when i got to work, on NO FRIGGIN SLEEP, i was asked what i was doing there, because my name had been crossed out on the schedule because we were spending too much money on payroll compaired to what we are bringing in every day. now, when the schedule comes out, a copy is printed for each person to take home, thus eliminating the need for me to look at the one posted at work, and against my better judgement, i gave my boss my phone # in case she needs me to come in early, or not come in. so i dragged my dead ass out of bed, were i had been TRYING to sleep, all for nothing... but i suppose i can be thankful for an unexpected day off... it is like a snow day from school.

so i rented three more movies: 'the visitation'- which doesn't come out until tuesday, 'poor white trash,' which i have not seen in a long time and 'harold and kumar go to white castle'- which i have also not seen in a long time.

now i must go grocery shopping-

''a 'fridge full of condements and no food''

so for now, i will leave you with this little movie quote-
'you girls watch out for those weirdo's...'
"we are the weirdo's, mister..."
-nancy to the busdriver in 'the craft'

please mr deadman... i want some more

7. in 'final destination 2,' one of the soon to be dead won the lottery. what killed him?

8. in 'the ring,' how long do you get to live after you watch 'the tape'?

9. in 'blade- trinity,' durring the jail break scene, blade is given a dose of his serum while his rescuers fight off the guards. blade stands up and stretches his muscles, but something is... different... what is it?

10. what is the name of the lead bad guy in the 'hellraiser' series?

11. what was the name of the lake jason vorhees drown in?

12. in 'the devils rejects' what is the name of baby's brother?

13. what horror movie bad guy was created using a william shatner mask?

14. in 'john carpenters vampires,' what was the 'first vampire' looking for to finish his transformation?

15. 'ted levine' from the usa series 'monk' played a roll in 'the silence of the lambs.' who was he?

i hope you have enjoyed my quiz. answers will be posted saturday night. you can post your answers on my comments page...

how did you do?

a horror movie quiz for your entertainment ...

1. in 'freddy vs. jason,' at the end, one of them walks out of the water holding the other ones severed head... who was decapitated?

2. in 'scream,' who played billy (sidney's boyfriend)?

3.what part of his body did ash (from 'evil dead' 1 & 2, as well as 'army of darkness') have to chop off because 'the evil got into it'?

4. what is the doctors name in saw? (the last name is fine, he was the blond guy locked in the bathroom)

5. in 'tales from the hood,' the funeral home was not really a funeral home... what was it? (maybe 'where' was it is a better question)?

6. in 'the devils rejects' what does captain spalding tell that young boy he is going to do if he can not come up with a reason why he hates clowns?


answers will be posted in a day or two so you all can have a chance to play...

i'm home

and what a fucking day...

on the way home, i was bitten by a vampire... but instead of biting me on the neck, he bit my ass- well, i told him to...

and now i think my ass is changing into a vampire...

i can no longer moon anyone, not that i do anyway, because if i do- my ass will burst into flames...

thursday

i do not have a lot of time, i must start to get ready for work in 15 minutes.

i am thinking of renting forrest gump tonight- and 2 other movies i have not decided what yet...

as far as the welcome i recieved yesterday-
a tear of joy wells up and rolls down my cheek, when it hits the desk, it eats through it in a cloud of smoke...
acid tears... sweet.

i will be back later.

happy to be home

i walked from the house into the pouring rain with a grin on my face, and echoed screams in my mind. i have to get home fast, before someone sees me. what on earth would cause a woman to treat her man like that? i suppose she deserved her fate.she will be found sometime tomorrow morning when she doesn''t show up for work, and neither does HE. that son of a bitch. he knew me! how could he invade my territory like that and stab me in the back? he deserved his fate too. they will be found together as they lived behind my back. such was their life, so is their death. but you should''ve heard their screams- they were absolutely beautiful. i killed him first. and made her watch as he writhed in pain as i slowly skinned him alive. i started with his toes and worked my way up. i think she was screaming more than he was. ''don''t do this! don''t do this!'' she screamed, but not for long- once i sewed her mouth shut with fishing line she got rather quiet. i will never be caught. i left not a shred of evidence behind, and i have an airtight alibi. as we speak, a program i wrote for my computer is carying on a conversation with someone via im in my name, and i live an hours drive from here i also wore a jumpsuit which covered my entire body- so there are no hairs or fibers to trace me to the scene. when it came time for HER, the lying whore, i started with her beautiful hair... she spent nearly an hour brushing it every night before bed... and i spent nearly an hour ripping out small handfulls by the root. what must it feel like to have over 1000 straight pins and sewing needles stabbed into your body? painful i bet. she screamed so hard she ripped out my stitch work on her mouth... i had to gag her with her boyfriends skin. then came the fire. a blow torch to heat each of the pins until they were white hot and she finaly passed out from the pain and shock. it was then i covered her naked body with home made napalm. no, her death was not pleasant at all. but i will be home soon, and i can put this night and all of her betrayel behind me. i am happy to be home.

the preceding was my first story- posted on my first blog... what i am trying to do, is get back into that mindstate to write more stories.

a note to those who have already read it on my last blog: new stories should be forthcoming...

oh yes, there will be blood...

not too much is really going on right now... i found out yesterday that i have watched 227 movies since i started working at hollywood video 2 1/2 months ago... i know, i have no life.

i watch new releases the week before they come out, because i am going to have to know all about it for the morons that come in. 'duh, what is saw about?'
sometimes i just want to grab these people by the head and shake them until it comes off...

in other news, not much has changed in the 6 months i have been gone- i am still single, but i want to be, since women are fucking crazy, and no amount of swing from the rafters, earth moving sex is worth their psychotic tendancies.

for those of you who are here to read sick ass stories, more of those will follow soon, i'm sure... perhaps i will rehash the first one to get the ball rolling... i'll do that later.